Cellphone and cash: 2017 list of bizarre items in vaginas

As 2017 comes to a close, it is time to reflect on the high points and not-so-proud moments of the year.

Some escaped the year without injury, and others weren’t so lucky.

But few were as unfortunate as these men and women, who were hospitalized after losing a variety of strange objects in their vaginas and penises.

The items found in females, logged by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, included a bike reflector, a phone, and cash.

In penises, doctors found a domino piece, a piece of shampoo bottle, and a ‘small screw’.

While the average length of a vagina is 9.6 centimeters, the candlestick, bike reflector and headphones exceeded capacity and got stuck requiring doctors’ help to remove them.

A list of strange objects found in vaginas and penises was compiled based off the US Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits

A list of strange objects found in vaginas and penises was compiled based off the US Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits

A list of strange objects found in vaginas and penises was compiled based off the US Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits

This was the year of odd vaginal trends which came with the promise of tightening, cleaning and rejuvenating the genitals. 

Trends included inserting a ground up wasp nest in the vagina and cleaning it with a cucumber, which experts warned could do more harm than good.  

No wasps or cucumbers were found this year, however it appears women were forging their own trends with clay, lollipops and deodorant caps. 

Objects such as tampons, condoms and diaphragms are designed to placed inside a vagina.

However others placed inside are referred to as ‘foreign bodies’ which can be painful and cause foul smell and bleeding if left in for too long.   

Doctors warn that if a foreign object is stuck in the vagina and you cannot remove it yourself, to go to a gynecologist or an emergency room where surgery may be required.     

Top 16 things found in vaginas in 2017 

1. Scented soap

2. Deodorant cap

3. Bottle cap

4. Penis ring with spikes on

5. Silicon balls

The patient stated these were ‘You know, for when your husband leaves town.’ 

6. A ball

7. Bike reflector

8. A sponge 

Patient was ‘on period, inserted non-birth control sponge in vagina so she could swim.’ 

9. Headphones

10. Hot towel

11. A phone and money

‘Was having sex with boyfriend when he put phone and money in vagina.’ 

12. Clay

13. A candlestick

14. A lollipop

15. 15 stone balls – only found 14 

‘Using massaging urethral vaginal stone balls, the string holding 15 balls together dissolved, can only find 14 balls.’

16. Toy wand 

Women were not the only ones who experienced genital mishaps in 2017. 

American men experimented with screws, spoons and cables, placing them up the shaft.

One patient ‘put a paperclip through the urethra and punctured through shaft of penis,’ according to the report. 

An MRI or CT scan can spot the foreign bodies that have gone too far into the shaft and gotten lost. 

In the case of a 50-year-old man who had chopsticks stuck in his shaft, a urologist can surgically removed the foreign objects while the patient was under general anesthesia before it perforated the shaft or any organs.

Though embarrassing, visiting the emergency room may have been these men’s best bet at saving their penises from excruciating pain.

 Strange items found in men’s penises in 2017 

 1. A little screw

2. A sharp toy

3. four inch long metal sex toy 

4. Plastic spoon 

5. Piece of domino 

6. Piece of plastic shampoo bottle

7. Paperclip

‘Patient put paperclip through urethra and punctured through shaft of penis’

8. Coaxial cable  

 

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