Dr Nikki Goldstein: Sex should never be a Christmas gift

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For those still struggling to find their partner a Christmas gift, some lingerie and a special night in the bedroom might seem like the perfect last-minute fix.

But sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein warns that treating sex as a gift can turn it into something that feels more like an obligation instead of passion.

Saving intimacy for special occasions could start to make sex feel like a chore, rather than spontaneous bedroom fun, she added. 

Sexologist Nikki Goldstein warns that treating sex as a Christmas gift can turn it into something that feels more like an obligation instead of a passionate night

Sexologist Nikki Goldstein warns that treating sex as a Christmas gift can turn it into something that feels more like an obligation instead of a passionate night

Sexologist Nikki Goldstein warns that treating sex as a Christmas gift can turn it into something that feels more like an obligation instead of a passionate night

‘In long-term relationships, we should be having sex for healthier reasons,’ Dr Goldstein wrote in Body+Soul

‘These include to bond, to feel close to our partners, to feel in a better mood with them, to connect, to be intimate, to feel pleasure and to enjoy something together.’

‘These are not things you achieve necessarily from giving sex as a gift or using it to celebrate. These are things a relationship needs to thrive 365 days of the year.’

While couples shouldn’t worry about whether they’ve having sex every day of the year, Goldstein said they should consider initiating it more often than just birthdays and holidays.  

She notes that saving intimacy for special occasions could start to make sex feel like a chore, rather than spontaneous bedroom fun

She notes that saving intimacy for special occasions could start to make sex feel like a chore, rather than spontaneous bedroom fun

She notes that saving intimacy for special occasions could start to make sex feel like a chore, rather than spontaneous bedroom fun

Goldstein recommends couples take time to 'reconnect with each other during this busy season', but to do so to bond or feel close together - not for an obligatory gift 

Goldstein recommends couples take time to 'reconnect with each other during this busy season', but to do so to bond or feel close together - not for an obligatory gift 

Goldstein recommends couples take time to ‘reconnect with each other during this busy season’, but to do so to bond or feel close together – not for an obligatory gift 

‘While I do suggest having sex this Christmas, I also suggest having sex on lots of others day too. This is not about a gift on December 25, but taking some time to reconnect with each other during this busy season,’ she said. 

And it seems that’s a piece of advice that more Australian couples should be taking. 

The Australian Bureau of Statistics has revealed that couples are now struggling to conceive over the holiday season.

New figures from the last three years show that the highest amount of births in the year now happen in March instead of October, which used to hold the top spot. 

October birthdays correspond to a Christmas conception, while March births are linked to conception in June.

The ABS recorded 26,600 births in October and 26,174 births in March in 2012. 

The Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed that couples are now struggling to conceive over the holiday season, with October being unseated as the highest month for births 

The Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed that couples are now struggling to conceive over the holiday season, with October being unseated as the highest month for births 

The Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed that couples are now struggling to conceive over the holiday season, with October being unseated as the highest month for births 

In comparison a significant gap opened between the two months in 2016, with 20,640 births in October and 26,301 births in March.

Figures from health insurance company Medibank aligned with the ABS. There were 2,455 claims for births in October 2013 and 2,356 claims in March. 

But last year the October claims dropped to 2,144, and in March they amounted to 2,258. 

Michael Gannon, the president of the Australian Medical Association, said he believes the drop is tied to stress that couples experience over the holiday season. 

‘The reality is that for a lot of people, Christmas is an extremely busy time with interstate or international travel, a variety of functions, and maybe it is increasingly becoming a stressful time,’ he told The Herald Sun

‘There is no question that psychological stress can reduce the chances of ovulation and it might reduce the chances of conceiving.’  

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